Day 1

The End of Times are upon us, and I feel it is my duty to record my experiences of the first day for those who may survive (too much caffeine and too little sleep can kill right?). To follow are my thoughts and impressions of my first experiences with Diablo III, written mostly as it happened, with a few comments added in editing (the raw form had a little demonic taint to it, aka terrible sentence structure). CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS as far as the Beta content went, so you have been warned.

5:45 Game downloaded, servers up, time to rock. It’s quit convenient that the US Servers came up just when I needed them. Blizzard was probably waiting for me, so sorry everyone else who couldn’t play for a while until I was ready. I’m rolling a Demon Hunter for my character to co-op with Eli, who will be joining me on this adventure. My ranginess should go well with Eli’s barbarian melee action. Went with a female character, as is my style. This should be good.

6:15 Ran into my old friend Deckard Cain. He didn’t even bring up that I have quite a treasure in my Haradric Cube, so that was nice. The dude was old when I last saw him twenty years ago, but he doesn’t look much worse for wear. In fact his graphics are much improved. I also met his niece. She seems nice, even if I hear Donnie Iris every time I talk to her.

7:00 I really like my character animations. She really leans into her Rapid Fire, and it makes me want to man yell every time I use it (in a good way). I also like the fact that she wears leather pants.

Kakakakakaka

7:45 Grabbed a banana before the fight with the skeleton king. Feeling refreshed and everyone knows that potassium is the most important mineral for blowing stuff up.

8:00 The Skeleton King has died by my hands, or at least by the crossbow bolts I shot with my hands. Oh, and there was this other dude bashing his skull with a couple of axes, so whatever, he’s dead and I helped. I am rewarded with a rare drop and some actual story (in a Diablo game!?!). Eli has to cook dinner so I am now on my own, so it is time for some wizardly face melting!

8:30 Arcane orbs kick ass. It is pretty much a case of ^Rwhatever she hits, she destroys^R (the R quote mean that you should read that with a Russian accent, and if you say that I can’t just make up my own punctuation all I can say is that I just did). I also like pony tails, it is the best female hair style ever (what is the best male hairstyle you ask? This guy). Pony tails are functional, I find them attractive, and they are fun pieces of game physics.

A nice quiet moment of reflection. 

9:15 I’m having some connection issues. In a single player game of all places!?! Disconnected twice and I think I am going to call it a night. Cob out.

There you have it. Some primary source material of this (probably not) historic day in human history. To be totally honest, I did play some Beta, so I only had about 30 seconds of actual new game experience. But the Beta isn't really the game, so I’m still calling it first impressions. I leave future generation to determine its historic and cultural relevance (but I will bet you twenty dollars it falls in the miniscule to infinitesimal range).