The End of Times are upon us, and I
feel it is my duty to record my experiences of the first day for those who may
survive (too much caffeine and too little sleep can kill right?). To follow are
my thoughts and impressions of my first experiences with Diablo III, written mostly
as it happened, with a few comments added in editing (the raw form had a little
demonic taint to it, aka terrible sentence structure). CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS
as far as the Beta content went, so you have been warned.
5:45 Game downloaded, servers up, time to rock. It’s quit
convenient that the US Servers came up just when I needed them. Blizzard was
probably waiting for me, so sorry everyone else who couldn’t play for a while
until I was ready. I’m rolling a Demon Hunter for my character to co-op with
Eli, who will be joining me on this adventure. My ranginess should go well with
Eli’s barbarian melee action. Went with a female character, as is my style.
This should be good.
6:15 Ran into my old friend Deckard Cain. He didn’t even
bring up that I have quite a treasure in my Haradric Cube, so that was
nice. The dude was old when I last saw him twenty years ago, but he doesn’t
look much worse for wear. In fact his graphics are much improved. I also met
his niece. She seems nice, even if I hear Donnie Iris every time I talk
to her.
7:00 I really like my character animations. She really leans
into her Rapid Fire, and it makes me want to man yell every time I use
it (in a good way). I also like the fact that she wears leather pants.
Kakakakakaka |
7:45 Grabbed a banana before the fight with the skeleton
king. Feeling refreshed and everyone knows that potassium is the most important
mineral for blowing stuff up.
8:00 The Skeleton King has died by my hands, or at least by
the crossbow bolts I shot with my hands. Oh, and there was this other dude bashing
his skull with a couple of axes, so whatever, he’s dead and I helped. I am
rewarded with a rare drop and some actual story (in a Diablo game!?!). Eli has
to cook dinner so I am now on my own, so it is time for some wizardly face
melting!
8:30 Arcane orbs kick ass. It is pretty much a case of Rwhatever
she hits, she destroysR (the R quote mean that you should read that
with a Russian accent, and if you say that I can’t just make up my own
punctuation all I can say is that I just did). I also like pony tails, it is the
best female hair style ever (what is the best male hairstyle you ask? This guy). Pony tails are functional, I find them attractive, and they are fun
pieces of game physics.
A nice quiet moment of reflection. |
9:15 I’m having some connection issues. In a single player
game of all places!?! Disconnected twice and I think I am going to call it a
night. Cob out.
There you have it. Some primary
source material of this (probably not) historic day in human history. To be totally
honest, I did play some Beta, so I only had about 30 seconds of actual new game
experience. But the Beta isn't really the game, so I’m still calling it first
impressions. I leave future generation to determine its historic and cultural
relevance (but I will bet you twenty dollars it falls in the miniscule to infinitesimal
range).
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